do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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