what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize