I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
