Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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