I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
