fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
