that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
