happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize