I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize