That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
