thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
