I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
