Nicole vs. Life
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
