I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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