The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just cropdusted the office
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
