dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just cropdusted the office
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
