she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
