My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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