ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
