Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
