if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
