i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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