Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
