and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize