Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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