Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
