chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
