he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
