Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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