she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
