She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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