Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize