Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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