Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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