Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
