i think i have herpe
just one?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
