just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You took a bar mat shot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
