She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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