Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
