Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Houston, we have a blender
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
