its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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