I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize