watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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