Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
