is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
