You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
