I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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