omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
