you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
PANTIES FOUND
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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