i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
