...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
