I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
