He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize