If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize