so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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