Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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