Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Randomize