Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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