Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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