Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
