I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
