No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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