just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
